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" POLICE #1 While taking a routine vandalism report at a primary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. "Well, then," she said as she extended her foot toward me, "would you please tie my shoelace? Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. " ELDERLY While working for an organisation that delivers lunches to the elderly, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds.Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop? My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. " It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs.The bloke says, "Listen, love, can you make your bloody mind up, I should've got off four stops ago! The man walks up to him and says, "I didn't know you were into earrings." "Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring," he replies sheepishly. "Well, she replies, "My boss and I played the lotto and we won, so I bought it with my share of the winnings." A week later, his wife comes home with a long shiny fur coat. You guessed it - her share of the lotto winnings...His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him to ask, "So, how long have you been wearing one? " ORSM VIDEO One day, the wife comes home with a spectacular diamond ring. That night, the wife asks her husband to run her a nice warm bath while she gets undressed. "Well," he replies, "We don't want to get your lotto ticket wet, do we?? NUDITY I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!

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