We're four fucking minutes in and already, you have no idea what your mythology is. I don't think other stories would hold up as well if they were as inconsistent with their world. I mean, by God, nine fucking months of signs and milk cartons and Santa never came across any of that?! / And I'll quote Christmas Story (head expands as he screams at Tamara and Malcolm) 'TILL YOUR SOUL IS DEAD! · Sharkboy and Lavagirl · Small Wonder - Was That Real?
(NC is back to wearing his normal clothes and is sitting at his usual spot) NC: What are those choices, you may ask? Narrator: Grandma got run over by a reindeer, all right. Channel Awesome logo Female cop: Better get looking for the old broad.NC: I don't know what old women the director's been looking at, but… I think this guy's way too accepting of violence to the elderly. Cut to the front of a courthouse with a group of protesters and a news reporter. (Stills showing the Jury and Prosecutor looking incredibly disturbed by this last revelation are shown.) Jake (NC): And? Lawyer: Arrest this woman for obstructing justice and almost ruining Christmas! (She gets run over by the reindeer…again.) Song: Grandma got run over by a reindeer (Still shot of Grandma laying face down is shown with the text "She never woke up.")* / Walking home from our house Christmas Eve…(And the credits roll) NC: So that was Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer. You just can't believe how lazy the segues are, what cutouts the characters remain, and how utterly unnecessary everything in this special is. A gunshot rings out, and a surprised NC pulls a syringe out of his hindquarters, mulls over it, and promptly collapses, bringing us back to the studio. NC: (softly singing) It's snowing, I love shopping / and I fu-fu-fu-fu-fu-fucking love Christmas / Enough to build tranquilizer immunity / I must be fucking batshit crazy about… They turn around, and NC is back on his feet advancing towards them along with guitar Jesus, backing them against the door in fear. / So put the star on top the tree / and buy me a fucking TV! Super Show · Top 12 Greatest Christmas Specials · Jingle All the Way Nicktoons · Nickcoms · SNICK · Good Burger · The Making of the Final Battle · Ferngully: The Last Rain Forest · A Kid in King Arthur's Court · The Good Son · The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog · Top 11 Nostalgic Mindfucks · Twister · Garbage Pail Kids · Rock-A-Doodle · Titanic - The Legend Goes On · The Pagemaster · The Never Ending Story · Moonwalker · Top 11 Dumbest Superman Moments · TMNT · Red Sonja · TGWTG Team Brawl · Short Circuit 1 & 2 · Batman vs.Narrator: It was December, and everyone in Cityville was caught up in the chaos of the holiday. NC (v/o): So even though she still doesn't remember, she agrees to go with Jake and Santa to stop the store from being sold, but Cousin Mel sees Grandma and decides to kidnap her. NC (v/o): This, of course, leads to one logical conclusion. Reporter: I'm at the courthouse where the sensational Santa Claus trial is reaching its climax. NC (v/o): But Jake finds his Grandma, jogs her memory, and brings her to the jury of Dilbert caricatures to explain their case. Female cop: That's what you get for being selfish and stupid! I suppose, in that sense, it is kind of worth seeing just to witness how uninspired a commercial knock-off of an already popular pretty annoying song could be. Malcolm: (with tranq rifle, to Tamara) Don't ever fucking do that again! Malcolm: What he has is a sickness that can only be cured by repression and tranquilizers. NC: (Loudly again) I'll kill anyone not celebrating with me! The Dark Knight · Full House · North · Critic and Nerd: TMNT Making of Coming Out of Their Shells · Sidekicks · Gargoyles · Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen · Steel · Top 11 Cereal Mascots · Barb Wire · New vs Old - LOTR Animated vs Lord of the Rings · Last Action Hero · Captain N · We're Back: A Dinosaur's Story · Warriors of Virtue · Captain America · Top 11 F*ckups · Alone in the Dark · Blank Check · Old vs New: Willy Wonka · Cool as Ice · Suburban Commando · Next Karate Kid · Casper · Superman IV · Congo · Siskel and Ebert Tribute · Judge Dredd · Tank Girl · Jack Frost · He-Man and She-Ra Christmas Special · Next Best Christmas Specials · Star Wars Holiday Special · Ernest Saves Christmas Commando · Junior · Conan and Conan the Destroyer · End of Days · Battlefield Earth · Bebe's Kids · Lost in Space · Top 11 Villain Songs · Quest for Camelot · Old vs.NC (v/o): (sighs in mock nostalgia) I remember when I had a random poster of a mule on my wall. So, Santa today represents the true meaning of Christmas: giving to others. now that I think about it, how old can the grownup version of this kid telling the story be if there's goddamn email in it… Sure enough, it turns out Santa had Grandma the whole time. Hell, he KNOWS who everyone in the world is, so couldn't he, through deduction, figure out where she lives? Santa Claus: If I could meet just one stinkin' person who understands the holidays… NC Pirouettes across the field, and then stops in the center! We then see Rob Scallon dressed like Jesus standing on a "stage" with a crucifix behind him. NC: (singing) And I'll play those Christmas carols, until my ears will bleed with Christmas cheer! We then cut to NC pirouettes next to a Christmas tree, before grabbing and humping it 'till it explodes! NC: (singing) I'll love those stop-motion specials that scare the shit out of me! A demonic Santa bounces across the screen revealing flash animated hot chocolate on NC, then he's in a blond wig, holding a shotgun parodying Ralphie from A Christmas Story. (Cut to NC and Jesus Christ rocking back and forth behind Tamara and Malcolm who run off screen) NC: (singing) Keep it longer! · The Haunted Mansion · Daredevil · Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014) · Demolition Man · Top 11 Animaniacs Episodes · Legend of Zorro · The Ewoks Cartoon - Was That Real?(a green arrow points to a poster of a mule on the wall) It was right next to the globe that no kid has ever owned, yet for some reason, keeps popping up in kids room cliché. NC: (looks annoyed) See, that's funny, because, um…I'm pretty sure you want to get across that Santa exists in this world…seeing how it's called Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer, and you literally just dashed this kid's dreams by bringing up the Saint Nick stuff. It's not like she was that far away from the house! Santa Claus: Classic case of amnesia; can't remember a thing! NC: (singing) I'll bathe in hot chocolate 'till my skin is red! · Fantastic Four · Cowboys of Moo Mesa - Was That Real?